Are You Missing the Secret Ingredient of Sobriety?
Whether you are winning your personal war against sexual addiction, in another round of relapse, or just getting recovery started, we have great news for you: You can have longterm sexual sobriety, and you can grow deep emotional intimacy with the special someone in your life. Interested? Keep reading.
Some say our brains are our most important sex organ, and new research backs that up. Our ability to develop and grow emotional intimacy begins there as well. But both require J-O-Y, the essential ingredient for sobriety, intimate relationships, and feeling good about life. In fact, being human and wanting joy are inseparable. Our Creator made us with brains that want and need to operate with joy in charge. But because joy was meant to be learned from our caregivers during the first 18 months of life and reinforced as we grow up, many of us did not “learn” how to produce it. Without that ability, life hurts; so we turn to substitutes like sex. Soon it hijacks our brain's control center and “re-wires” our neuropathways as shown on SPECT scans of of sexually addicted brains.
But It's Never too Late to Learn
At its essence, joy is relational. This means joy is generated by joy-producing relationships; when someone we care about is glad to be with us. The connection produces warm, happy feelings and we like it. Brain research now shows we each have a “joy center” in the right orbital prefrontal cortex of our brains, right behind our right eye. And it is the only part of the brain that can grow throughout life. And because joy is a renewable resource, when we're running low, there is a healthy, wholesome way to obtain more.
Learning to Produce the Elixir of Life
Remember, joy is relational: We can only generate true joy and true intimacy in joy-producing relationships. Not only does it feel good, it also regulates emotions, pain control, and immunity centers; it guides us to "act like ourselves;" and it releases neurotransmitters that lift our spirits. And it is the only part of the brain that overrides the main drive centers—food and sexual impulses, terror, and rage. Now that is good news!
So if you're ready to gain freedom and a chance to win back your wife's heart, come and enjoy growing your joy center with a few safe guys. You will be grateful you did!
Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You, 2010, Shepherd’s House, Pasadena, CA (www.lifemodel.org)