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We Baby Boomer men were raised with heroes who took on the world by themselves, they "busted their own broncs" and "blazed their own trails;" they did it "my way." We grew up idolizing the Duke, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, and Charles Bronson, just to name a few. One thing they all had in common was this: they did not depend on others; they did not need others; they handled their own stuff all by themselves.

While it worked well in the movies, you and I as men have discovered the hard way that it does not work at all in real life. The Master Designer, Jesus Christ, did not create us for aloneness, but for community. In fact, in the creation account recorded in Genesis chapters 1 and 2, God said everything was good except for one thing: "It is not good for man to be alone."

As I have worked with hundreds of men in a variety of ministries over the years, I encounter a recurring theme: men who "go it alone" soon fall into all kinds of trouble. Regardless of their age, education, financial status, career, or social graces, men who attempt to live in emotional and spiritual isolation do not thrive.

One of my favorite Bible characters is David. David had various faults, and yet God called him a "man after my own heart." As I study his life, I soon discover that David surrounded himself with other men that he allowed to get "up close and personal" in his own life. For the most part, he lived with a high level of personal accountability. Personal accountability combined with honest transparency is something we men must have in the company of other like-minded men.

There is a reason that, no matter how large an army is, it is ultimately divided into squads of six to eight men, and each squad is made up of three or four two-man teams. Military leaders have discovered that few men will die for their general, yet nearly every man in the army will die for his closest team mates. Over and over we hear stories from the battle fields about someone who willingly "takes a bullet" for those in his squad. You see, in order to successfully take on an enemy, we men must do so "together;" we must be part of a squad.

The same is true when we take on an enemy that is within us. If we choose to stand alone and go to war isolated from other men, we will fall on the battlefield for our minds and souls. But, if we choose to humble ourselves, acknowledge our need for healthy life-giving relationships with other men, and make a commitment to "go to war" against our addictions together, we will not only survive; we will thrive!

Got questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you. My name is Steve, and you can reach me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. God bless!